Here’s some Euro-tropical ska that’s about as authentically Caribbean as a tax exile in the Cayman Islands, but it’s cheerful enough. Ah, your song is about being possessed by the spirit of Edgar Allan Poe who compels you to write gothic pop lyrics and carries you to a major label recording contract? And your incredibly catchy chorus goes “Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Edgar Allan, Edgar Allan Poe”? Douzeiest douze points ever. These are the opening lines of Who the Hell is Edgar?: With a funkily bumping Flume-esque beat, Heart of Steel was inspired by the siege of the Azovstal steel works and while the duo can’t be too didactic thanks to Eurovision’s rules on political expression, the song’s themes of stubborn resolve and self-definition (“Sometimes you just gotta know / When to stick your middle finger up in the air”) are as clear as day. That win was secured thanks to voter solidarity – which could very easily happen again – but in a normal year Kalush Orchestra’s stirring, showboating folk-pop banger Stefania could easily have triumphed anyway, and it continued a brilliant run for Ukraine since they arrived in 2003: qualifying for the final every year, they’ve netted 11 Top 10 placings including three wins and two runner-up spots. The cheers will also be deafening when Tvorchi begin: this contest rightfully belongs in Ukraine after Kalush Orchestra won last year. The arena crowd – especially those from north-west England, the spiritual home of hard dance – will absolutely lose their minds to this. An unhinged mashup of trance, anarcho-punk and glam metal about how spiritually fulfilling it is to get extremely drunk, it bludgeons you with two minutes of pure cartoon violence before dropping a chorus of completely wondrous pop perfection. Loreen is a very tough act to beat, but if anyone can do it, it’s Käärijä: he has the hard stare and bowl cut of a Berlin sex club bouncer and his song is by some mark the best this year.

A true pop star and a noticeable cut above the rest. The fringe is a little more feathered – didn’t her stylists know the story of Samson? – and Tattoo is maybe 10% less formidable than Euphoria, but still: Loreen’s voice remains sensational, going from breathy mids to adrenaline-pumping highs and she has the superhuman stage presence of a Gaga or Beyoncé.

Now she is back to try to become the first woman to win twice, and the bookies think she has it sewn up already.

Edgar allan poe the beating heart